How you deal with this one is you use it and you own it and you live it, because there is nothing more beautiful than a human who has no other choice but to be themself. Yes, asking for help was already listed, but it is so important that it is worth repeating. Getting through recovery’s ups and downs requires you to do more than just occasionally show up and interact with people who may be able to support you.
- At some point after college, it just didn’t matter if someone had a meal that was four dollars more than mine, or if they ate more edamame, or even if they had one more drink than I did.
- Even if you are making one small choice to improve how you feel each day, like working out more or eating better, track it.
- Drunk me didn’t have to worry if I was alone at a party because drunk me didn’t abide such things.
- Stand up and say, I’m having a rough time, and any extra support is appreciated.
- And, when going to rehab demands stepping back from your life for a temporary period of time in order to focus on getting well, recovery can seem more like regression than moving forward.
Things That Inevitably Happen to Your Personal Life When You Get Sober
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My biggest fears in life include being in large groups of strange people, standing at parties by myself, and really just people in general. Drunk me didn’t have to worry if I was alone at a party because drunk me didn’t abide such things. Drunk me didn’t worry if she belonged, or said the right thing, or had to have small talk because drunk me just handled that. It may also be helpful to get to know yourself on your own, first. Spending sober time becoming familiar with your body intimately can help you better communicate your needs to someone else when you feel ready for that step.
More Questions about Treatment?
It’s an opportunity to grow into your bones, and every single crap thing that happens to you on the way only makes you stronger. But this, I’ve learned, is a beautiful thing. This isn’t to say that all of your friends will be threatened, or that all of your friendships will change. Some will certainly remain, but even those aren’t necessarily long-game friendships. Sobriety is kind of like the fast-pass line at Disneyland, except the ride is growing up. While making the decision to be sober was the best thing I’ve ever done, it’s also one of the hardest.
How Sobriety Can Look Boring
It’s important to remember that you never have to give yourself up to make other people comfortable—ever. Whether you’re stating a one-sentence response (“I don’t drink”) or using a small excuse, the only thing to consider is whether you are comfortable, and whether your boundaries are being upheld. It’s been over six years since I first started seriously questioning my relationship with alcohol and considered a life without it. That’s six hard, beautiful, glorious years during which I not only stopped drinking, but also finally moved on from all recreational drugs as well as a history of bulimia. While you’re in active addiction, the life you imagine without drugs seems awful. Sobriety seems like a lot of hard work, boring, and downright miserable—not to mention impossible.
” Sometimes they stop talking to you altogether. Unfortunately, for someone in recovery, feelings of discontent are dangerous. It doesn’t take long for thoughts to become words and words to become actions. Before you know it, a lousy day in sobriety can quickly turn into your last day in sobriety if you turn to drugs and alcohol to ease your emotional discomfort. That being said, you might not be at a place where you want people to know you’re not drinking, and that’s OK. You can provide an excuse, like that you’re on antibiotics, or you aren’t feeling great or want to feel fresh for something you have going on the next day.
Being Sober Sucks
- Similarly, there are many people who drink and use drugs because they feel more fun, daring, likable, and interesting when under the influence.
- The life I had before I quit drinking was a lot like Groundhog Day; I was always waiting for it to begin and always reliving the same stuff, day after day, year after year.
- But when life sucks, staying sober can be more than hard, it can feel like it’s next to impossible.
- I recharge when I’m by myself, and I deplete when I’m with others—especially big groups.
- They don’t worry about paying bills, providing for anyone, or how their stocks are doing.
- When you’re addicted to drugs or alcohol, the notion of getting clean and then staying sober over the long haul can be frightening.
If you’re asking this question, you’re not alone. Many people drink and do drugs precisely because they don’t like who they are and want to dull the sensation of their shame, self-loathing—even self-hatred. The prospect of being without the one thing that relieves their sense of low self-esteem alcoholism and lack of self-love can be very scary. When it seems like all you want to do is forget, to go get high or drunk and be gone, if only for a few moments, remember what addiction’s cost you. Remember what life was like when every moment was chaos and unmanageable. Remember how family and friends wouldn’t return calls or didn’t trust to leave you alone.
- When it seems like all you want to do is forget, to go get high or drunk and be gone, if only for a few moments, remember what addiction’s cost you.
- They don’t care about yesterday or tomorrow.
- It may also be helpful to get to know yourself on your own, first.
- Unfortunately, for someone in recovery, feelings of discontent are dangerous.
Find a new, being sober sucks better and more rewarding job. Regardless of the situation, being a victim never kept someone in recovery. Here’s how to stay sober, and sane, when life sucks. Even though breakups, job losses, and an unexpected death of a friend or family member, can be devastating, they will all happen at some point. And you need to know that you can make it through without relapsing.
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. Anything you can do to improve your overall health and wellness will serve double duty and improve your ability to stay sober.